Dear Pre-Mum me,
Just thought I’d drop you a line ahead of tiny people taking
up residence in your womb. I hope you’re keeping well. All is good this side of
the timeline. Exhaustion is a bit of an on-going issue, but you get used to it,
and sometimes in all the madness of life, sleep deprived delirium can even be a
bonus.
Hope you’re enjoying some carefree wild nights with your
friends. Still a total night owl here, but the rave moves have become more of
the “swaying the baby to sleep kind” and the attire is now less about displays of pert,
voluptuous cleavage and more about the support and easy access to sometimes
melon proportioned breasts for night feeds.
Enjoy all the latest cinema releases. While now you may hold
an opinion on all the Oscar nominated and winning movies, in the years to come
if it’s not made by Pixar or Disney, you won’t have seen it - over and over and
over again.
Go out while you can, anywhere, everywhere, whenever,
without the military preparation required to take a small person and half the
house with you. Visit friends and family while they still smile happily to see
you arrive rather than stare at you with a look of terror as you unload the troops
from the car.
Wear crop tops more often.
Your tummy is going to look a LOT different in years to come. Whether it’s
sunny, blowing a gale, raining, snowing or -10, show off your stomach, while
you can …sob.
Take long showers and lather yourself in luxurious smellies
while treating your glossy locks to some hair masks. The day will come when you’ll
shower with just one leg in the cubicle as you strain to hear if your baby is
crying and your hair will be washed with baby shampoo, or maybe just liquid
soap – assuming you have time to wash it at all that is.
Enjoy life and don’t sweat the small stuff. There’s a whole load of small stuff, of the
human variety, coming your way, that’ll really give you plenty to sweat about.
Oh and don’t buy that beige couch. You’ll have to replace it in late 2001, after
an unfortunate Ribena incident.
See you on the other side. The fun awaits!
Love Jen. xxx
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